Why this blog?

I picked up my Bible to continue to read through Psalms and God showed me the last half of Psalm 71, which is one of David’s last Psalms. 

“I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign Lord; I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone.  Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.  Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, until I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come.  Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God, you who have done great things.  Who, O God, is like you? Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.  You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.  I will praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, O my God; I will sing praise to you with the lyre, O Holy One of Israel.  My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you- I, whom you have redeemed.  My tongue will tell of your righteous acts all day long,”

I love this because it so clearly explains the reason I am writing this blog. 

God has taught me since my youth through my parents who are both strong believers.  I have grown up surrounded by wonderful Christians and been educated by intelligent theologians.  Like the Psalmist, I strive to declare the many marvelous deeds that He is doing in my life and all around me. 

In the fall of 2013, I was blessed to be invited to a women’s Bible study on apologetics at our church.  I learned a lot; I think we all did.  One of the things I remember thinking is yes, I want to glorify God and proclaim Him, but often I feel I am lacking the courage to talk to adults about Him.  The study challenged us to ask people, both that we just met and already knew, what they thought about God.  From there, we simply listened and questioned them further.  We did not force our beliefs on them.  The goal was simply to listen and plant seeds.  Even this was difficult!  Sure, talking to kids about God is one thing because they are naturally curious, but adults are HARD because we already know what we believe and are set in our ways.  No one wants to be told their wrong and me, being the people-pleaser I am, certainly does not want to be the one telling anyone they are wrong. 

But I do want my lips to shout for joy when I singing praises to God because He has redeemed me!  One of the many blessings God has given me through PCOS is the opportunity to talk to women and meet them where they are.  This blog has been such wonderful opportunities to let my tongue (via my keyboard) tell of His righteous acts. 

Although I know I do not have as many troubles as David did, I do believe that God will restore my life and bring me up.  Through that, He will be glorified.  I would love nothing more than to have children so I can declare His power to our next generation as we raise them to serve and love the Lord. 

I have had many opportunities to be comforted by God.  One evening Will and I were lying on the couches watching TV and I was overcome with a wave of sadness.  I don’t remember what prompted it; perhaps I had gotten a negative pregnancy test earlier that day.   Will very sweetly told me that sometimes it’s okay just to be sad and cry for a little (I am a crier!).  After a short five or ten minutes, my sadness passed, just like that.  I got up to get a tissue and before I walked back in the room, I wasn’t sad anymore.  As I sat back on the couch, I checked my phone.  I just received a text message from a dear friend in Alabama that she was praying for me to have peace.  God answered that prayer with a resounding yes and immediately granted it.  Thank the Lord for Godly friends and prayer partners! 

Thus ends my thoughts on Psalm 71 and my desire to proclaim His righteousness.  I pray my lips will always shout for joy about my Lord!

I have 24 kids

            Now that I have put myself out there through this blog, I feel like I should tell you a little more about who I am.  I am blessed! I have a husband who loves the Lord and is constantly pointing me back to Him.  I have a home complete with a vegetable garden.  I have a church where I belong.  I have more friends than I can count.  I have 2 jobs that I love and I am totally and completely passionate about. 

I went to college to be a teacher and have never, not once, doubted that calling on my life.  From the age of 5, I could tell you I wanted to be a mom and a teacher.  By high school, those goals had expanded to 4: wife, mom, teacher, and someone who points children to the Lord.  I am so blessed that God placed such a strong calling on my life.  I became even more blessed on June 6, 2013 when I got a call from the headmaster of my (and Will’s) alma matter offering me my dream job.  One of the few big life decisions I’ve made this way, but I said yes before I even checked with Will!  I love this job and can feel God working through me every day as I plan with my amazing coworkers whom I respect and as I teach these precious children God has entrusted me with and to whom he has given a thirst for learning.  I love teaching!

It wasn’t until recently when God opened a door to wedding planning.  I always loved weddings, but thought of them more as a hobby.  I won’t go into all of the details of how Weddings By Carter began, but every step of the way it fit perfectly with my passion for teaching.  People often ask me which one I would rather do, but I cannot answer because I am so passionate about both of them.  I guess during the week I would rather be teaching and on weekends I would rather be working weddings. 

One of the things I love about teaching children is the same thing Jesus did.  They have faith like a child and are able to accept things that adults may overthink.  Ever since my first year of teaching in 2010, I have been on my personal version of Are you Smarter than a Fifth Grader?  “Mrs. Fawcett, how many kids do you have?”, “Are you pregnant?”, “Why don’t you have kids?”, “When are you going to have kids?”, or, my favorite, “Mrs. Fawcett, when you do have a baby, will you name it after me?” 

When I was teaching in a public school, my answer was “I do have kids! I have 24 of you!”  Now that I’m blessed to be teaching in a Christian school, my answer is a very honest one.  “That is up to God.” 

On Halloween last year, one sweet girl asked me why I didn’t have kids to go home and carve a pumpkin with.  I responded with a laugh and, “You’ll have to talk to God about that one!”  Immediately, she announced to the other girls at the table that they had to stop and pray right then.  And she did.  And she continued to pray every morning in advisee with her small group of girls.  Faith like a child.  I pray that God will give me this faith. 

Another time, with only a week and a half left in the school year, they started asking again.  One panicked little girl begged me, “Mrs. Fawcett, last year our teacher went on maternity leave.  Please don’t go on maternity leave and leave us the last week of school!”  Oh, if only babies came that quickly! 

I am praying that our children will come in God’s perfect timing and, meanwhile, He will give me faith like a child to continue to pray for our precious babies.  

Stupid Schedules

                There, I said it.  Something negative.  While there have been many joyous moments when I have been able to share God’s word, this journey has also had its fair share of frustrating moments.  The one that has been driving me crazy recently is how I feel this has taken over our life.  Will and I talk all the time about where to draw the line between making this our first priority, but also still living our life and enjoying where we are now.  For example, we had the opportunity to go to the beach for two weeks this summer and celebrate my sister-in-law’s wedding.  It was a great trip and we are glad we spent that quality time with his family, but that meant a cycle when we couldn’t be home to go to doctor appointments.  Something else I love doing in the summer is being part of the leadership team at an amazing all girls summer camp.  Graciously, they were able to work with me, but I hate being the “problem maker” who feels like I am always the one asking for special treatment.  Especially when it comes to this subject.  I am about to go back to school for the fall semester.  I know doctor appointments are important, but I would like to be able to just be at school and not have so many things to plan around.  I want to be dependable and helpful, not the one always asking for special treatment but never being fully comfortable explaining the reasoning. 

                I am a scheduler.  My husband would say, in fact, that I over-schedule things.  Well, it’s hard to do that with PCOS and not knowing when my next cycle will start and when I have to drop everything to schedule a doctor appointment on day 2 and again on day 11.  I try to count out days to figure out when things will be happening, but the fact is it never seems to happen like I expect.  On top of scheduling around my body, sometimes I just feel like an emotional wreck and just want to stay home. 

While I do say all of this to vent a little, my main goal is I want to put it out there.  I know I am difficult to plan around right now and I am sorry.  I appreciate my wonderful employers, co-workers, family, and friends who are patient with me when I go back and forth and change plans or reschedule. 

Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”  I always thought this was a nice saying to hang on a bulletin board or sign on a card.  Now I am experiencing what it actually means.  I don’t like to be complicated or high maintenance, but God has surrounded us with wonderful friends and brothers who have wrapped us in love.  I am sorry for the times in the past when I have to change plans or cancel all together, often without giving a thorough reason.  I am also sorry for the times to come in the future, but please know that even though I don’t always feel like talking through every little personal detail, I appreciate your understanding more than I can ever say. 

I thank God every day for the wonderful and understanding husband He has blessed me with, but I also think Him for our amazing and Godly employers, co-workers, friends, and family who surround us with love and understanding, even when I don’t feel up to the task of explaining.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.