Live!

           Today I want to tell the story of the before and after of making my blog live.  I have received so much positive feedback and compliments, but I can’t take credit.  I am simply allowing God to work through me.  I thought maybe telling these stories would show that.

Before…

I had the blog written and waiting in a word document while I gathered the courage and talked to women in my life I respect about their thoughts on if this was a wise move.  Then on Sunday, I heard God’s message loud and clear when the sermon was about Paul in prison.  Not that I compare myself to Paul, but I do believe that there are lessons to be learned from every Bible story about how to serve the Lord.  I simply heard a lesson and am trying to apply it to my life. 

After Jesus was crucified, Paul was called to tell the story of Jesus and the only way to be saved from hell.  He glorified God by traveling to preach and reached many people through his obedience.  Then Paul was arrested.  He was put in jail and then on house arrest.  He couldn’t travel and preach, but he could still tell the story of Jesus to those who surrounded Him- the prison guards.  To use an overused idiom, Paul got lemons and made lemonade.  He wasn’t ministering in the way he would have chosen, but he could still glorify God while He was waiting to be free. 

Suffice it to say, I have always felt there is no higher calling than being a parent and raising your children to know, love, and serve our Lord.  The way I was raised was so clear both of my parents felt called to minister to their children every day because we were their mission field.  I want that!  I want my mission field to be singing “Jesus Loves Me” while our baby falls asleep.  I want to teach our children how to thank God for each meal before they eat.  I want to challenge our kids to memorize Bible verses.  I want to minister to our children’s friends and their families.  I want to pray together at night and teach our children how to give things up to God.

But just like Paul, God has asked me to wait.  That’s not his plan for me to glorify Him right now.  He has purposefully placed me somewhere else.  Even though it’s not where I would have chosen and it may not be “fun”, He still has plans for me here. 

After…

So I jumped.  A jump of faith, I mean.  I made the blog live in the hopes of ministering to other women who find themselves in similar situations and telling about the many, many blessings God has given us during this painful time.  I finally followed what I had felt God prompting on my heart.  I was honest.  I was open.  I am glad I did it!  The feedback I have gotten has affirmed this calling.  I thought I would take this time to share some of the other wisdom and feedback so many women have shared with me in the last few days. 

                One friend shared this verse with me.  It gave me such a feeling of peace; I thought some of you might like it too.  Matthew 7:7-11 (NLT) says, “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for.  Keep on seeking, and you will find.  Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks, receives.  Everyone who seeks, finds.  And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.  You parents- if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead?  Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake?  Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask Him.” 

                Another precious friend continually reminds me God’s timing is perfect.  As she explains it perfectly, when you are born determines so many things in life.  How old you are determines your grade in school and who your best friends will be.  It determines who your future spouse is.  To a large degree, it even has a bearing on who your younger siblings will be.  God has each child picked out already, but He waits until the perfect time for each one to enter the world. 

                I have heard many heart-breaking stories about miscarriages.  While this is not the struggle we are currently going through, it is one some of my dear friends are going through and we have had many conversations about it.  Both types of suffering are painful in their own ways.  The desire to be a mother is so strong and so frustrating when you can’t figure out how to achieve it.  (This is where my mom would give me the wise advice that it’s only God’s business to make a baby- and the Psalmist would agree!) But they are also different.  I cannot pretend to imagine that type of loss and pain, but I do have to give encouragement that I believe that baby is waiting in heaven and you will meet him or her one day!

But the most common story I keep hearing is success story after success story.  These from some women whom I have known for most of my life and I always just knew them as so-and-so’s mom.  It turns out becoming a mom was a long journey for many.  I have been filled with so much hope after hearing these stories, and would encourage anyone who would like to share their story in the comments for everyone to read. 

So that’s it.  Thank you for all of your compliments and positive feedback.  It affirms the calling that this is God’s plan for me right now in my life.  I ask you to keep reaching out to me if you need someone to talk to.  However, please know this isn’t done on my strength or goodness, but it is God working through me.  I love the story of Moses and the Burning Bush.  I relate to Moses- I have PCOS and Moses had a stutter.  That doesn’t worry God! In fact, He says through our weaknesses, His glory only shines brighter! Thank you, Abba, for choosing me and using me!