Secrets

                “Secrets, secrets are no fun unless you share with everyone!” I often recited as a child during activities like crowding on the couch at my grandparent’s beach condo with my cousins braiding each other’s hair, or while my sister and I played with our neighbors and our American Girl Dolls in the pink playhouse in our wooded backyard. 

As I have grown, I realize sometimes there are things better kept secret, not because you want to, but because it may be too personal and make others feel uncomfortable.  I am a champion of keeping other’s secrets, but when it comes to mine, I am an open book most of the time and wear my heart on my sleeve.  There is one secret I have had a hard time opening up about.  It’s not because I don’t want to, but because there have been times when I tell someone and, because they feel uncomfortable or are unsure of how to react, they react in a way that leaves me hurt.  Here is your warning; if you are one of those people, stop reading here.  It’s about to get personal. 

I was diagnosed almost 2 years ago with a common (about one in ten women) syndrome called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).  While I have had my moments of self-pity, the one thing that has amazed my husband and me is the many amazing ways God has worked through our struggle to bring Himself glory. 

He has provided us with numerous opportunities to worship while we’re waiting.   One of my favorite ways is the opportunity He has continually presented me with to build or strengthen friendships with women who are also struggling with various types of infertility.  I have been talking with my husband that I feel called to use this struggle for His glory to point other women in similar places back to Him. 

Meanwhile, my husband, Will, has been toying with the idea of starting a blog for about a year now.  He wanted me to start one for my wedding planning business, Weddings By Carter.  I was dragging my feet knowing how much of a time commitment a blog is claiming I wasn’t sure if I could generate enough content to keep a wedding blog interesting.  To be honest, one of my other sticking points (that still is) is that I am a fifth grade teacher and, because one of the subjects I teach is grammar, am paranoid of incorrect grammar or spelling and spend far too much time editing.  That being said, I ask for grace (especially from you, Mom and Sisters!) if you notice any in this blog- and please don’t tell my students!   

I digress.  Anyways, God started nudging my heart through a friend’s blog that perhaps a blog could be a good way to connect with other women who are struggling with infertility.  I was hesitant what Will’s reaction would be to publishing such a personal struggle, but he was surprisingly open to it.  We both agreed the focus of the blog would be the numerous ways that God has taught us to worship while we’re waiting. 

So there.  My secret is out in the open.  I hope you enjoy reading my blog, Worship While I’m Waiting.  Even if you can’t relate (as I pray you can’t), maybe you know other women who can.  Wish me luck- especially with the grammar and spelling!  Thank you and happy reading.